Hi Jaffa,
According to the video, you seem to be doing everything in the correct order and, if everything was working correctly, it should have connected.
I realise that it is not connecting to the PC, but
does the motor run OK?
If the motor doesn't run, try unplugging both of the brake switch connectors and try again, as this would rule out a short inside one of the brake switch cables.
If the motor still doesn't run, or does run, but spins in the wrong direction, check that the unused wires on the pedelec/reverse cable are not exposed and touching against each other.
If the Red +5V is touching the Black ground wire then the motor will not run and the controller will not be recognised by the programming software.
If the Blue and Black wires are touching, this will make the motor run backwards and will also interfere with the programming of the controller.
It might also be worth trying to connect to the programming software with the throttle disconnected, just in case the +5v supply is somehow shorted inside the throttle.
Try and give as much information as possible with your reply, comments like,
"i try everithing" are not very informative.
Alan